Hello, welcome to my new chapter!
I’ve been blogging since I was fourteen. In fact, some of you reading this might even know me from those days. I took a very lengthy hiatus, but now I’m so excited to start sharing parts of my life, things I enjoy, stories and everyday things that bring joy to my life. This time things will be a little different. The direction with this project is a little unlike anything I’ve done – publicly at least (hey Livejournal, friends) I’ve vowed to be more transparent, honest, personal and vulnerable.
So here I am, starting a blog again. Over my lengthy hiatus, I have done a lot of soul searching and I feel that I have learned a lot, suffered a lot, and weathered many storms and I have become a better version of myself. And because I’m the type of person that values meaning and intention, I wanted this blog to mean something. I wanted the name to mean something.
In the past couple of years, I sort of lost my way creatively, and emotionally. However, I’m experiencing a sort of rebirth. I feel like I have entered a new period in my life. A period where things are finally coming into perspective. I feel that I am also finally starting to remove myself and relax from my constant state of waiting for the next shoe to drop, or for the next catastrophe to happen. I have been, and still, am living in a suspended state of anxiety and self-inflicted yet necessary preparedness. Because of this state, that I put myself into, things have been very “black and white” for me for years. I cling to order and rules. I don’t dare step outside of them because then who knows what will happen? I need to protect myself. This uncertainty and lack of control makes me anxious. In fact, I have with many years of experience and learned that my lack of control of certain situations is, in fact, my largest trigger for my anxiety.
Colour + Clarity – two words that explain this new period of my life. Colour in the sense that I am finally starting to live outside of the normal “black and white” of my rigged, protective mode that I’ve kept myself in. I’m finally starting to appreciate life again. And Clarity in the sense that things are finally coming into perspective for me, I can finally see past the fog for once in my life. I’m not even joking about that. At 29, I am finally feeling at peace.
And as Björk said, “moments of clarity are so rare / I better document this” – Stonemilker
Here we are. Here’s to new beginnings. I can’t wait to start this next chapter.
Thanks for stopping by!